Cookie Recipes

Make sure to cool your cookies before their ascension into the realm of godhood!

The Cookie Recipe used throughout time that has brought men to their knees, changed the molecular structure of the universe, brought about the apocalypse, bent the fabric of time, created gods, ended empires, and made grandmas everywhere proud, is now yours to enjoy!

The Perfect Cookie Recipe

Makes approximately 24 to 36 cookies, depending on how generous you feel.

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup white sugar / 150 grams
• 1 cup brown sugar / 180 grams
• 1 cup butter, softened / 240 grams
• 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs, slightly beaten
• 3 cups all-purpose flour / 400 grams
• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips / just add enough
• And a pinch of grandma's love. (optional)

Instructions

1. Achieve immortality. (optional)
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, which is about 175 degrees Celsius.
3. Cream sugars and butter.
4. Add vanilla and eggs and mix well.
5. Combine dry ingredients together and gradually add to creamed mixture.
6. Stir in chocolate chips.
7. Roll into 1 1/4" / 3cm balls and place on non-stick cookie sheets, about 2" / 5cm apart.
8. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes.
9. Play cookie clicker while waiting. (optional)
10. Allow to cool. Or burn your mouth with deliciousness.
11. Thank your grandma(s). (optional)
12. Enjoy. (optional)
13. Keep enjoying until you are very, very fat. (Still optional)
14. Avoid the grandmapocalypse, or deal with it. (also optional)
15. Repeat until you achieve infinite cookies. (recommended, but still optional)

Golden cookie

1. 2 & ½ cups of liquid luck
2. ¾s of a bowl of gold (doesn't matter the size, just depends on how many golden cookies)
3. 7 clovers
4. A working tap/socket
5. The cookie dough recipe
6. A fridge (a working one)

Recipe:

1. Wash the gold in the socket 7 times for 13 seconds (not in your shower)
2. Repeat the cookie dough recipe in other bowls
3. replace the chocolate chips with the gold shards
4. Carefully spill the liquid luck (for the light-gold colour and the slight spearmint taste)
5. Mix it all and place the "dough" in a mold
6. Place it in the fridge and wait for 1 minute and 17 seconds (the mixture is very sensible to thermal changes, it will rapidly solidify)
7. Click on a 7x production golden cookie in cookie clicker while waiting
8. Remove them off the fridge and they are ready for consumption
9. Eat them
10. Eat 6 more (optional)
11. Wake up 77 times as luckier for 7 months

Wrath cookie

1. 2 & ½ cups pure hatred
2. A working tap/socket
3. The cookie dough recipe
4. A fridge (a working one)

Recipe:

1. Repeat the cookie dough recipe in other bowls
2. Carefully pour the hatred
3. Mix it all and place the "dough" in a mold
4. Place it in the fridge and wait for 1 minute and 17 seconds (the mixture is very sensible to thermal changes, it will rapidly solidify)
5. Be in the grandmapocalypse in cookie clicker
6. Remove them off the fridge and they are ready for consumption
7. Eat them
8. Pass out due to intoxication (?) (optional)

Recipe for every cookie upgrade (work in progress)

Note: Every cookie without a formal recipe should be considered "in need of a recipe." This INCLUDES the "ripoff" cookies (e.g. Girl Scout cookies, Grease's, etc.)

Name	Ingredients	Directions
Cookie Crumbs	Plain Cookie	Take a regular cookie, and SMASH IT into crumbs
Plain cookies	1 c. butter 1 c. brown sugar 1 c. sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla 3 c. flour 1 tsp. baking soda 1/4 tsp. salt	Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (177 degrees C) Cream butter, add sugars and mix well. Add eggs and vanilla Add flour, slowly mix in salt and baking soda. Put in oven for 8 to 10 minutes.
Sugar cookies	1 1/2 cups softened butter 1 cups white sugar 4 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 5 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt	In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Stir in the flour, baking powder, and salt. Cover, and chill dough for at least one hour (or overnight). Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Roll out dough on floured surface 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick. Cut into shapes with any cookie cutter. Place cookies 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 6 to 8 minutes in preheated oven. Cool completely. Ready in 3 hours. Makes 60 cookies.
Oatmeal raisin cookies	3/4 cup softened butter 3/4 cup white sugar 3/4 cup packed light brown sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp baking soda 3/4 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp salt 2 3/4 cups rolled oats 1 cup raisins	Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). In the large bowl, cream together butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs and vanilla until fluffy. Stir together flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Gradually beat into butter mixture. Stir in oats and raisins. Put onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden brown. Cool slightly, remove from sheet to wire rack. Cool completely. Ready in 1 hour. Makes 48 cookies.
Peanut butter cookies	1 cup unsalted butter 1 cup crunchy peanut butter 1 cup white sugar 1 cup packed brown sugar 2 eggs 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 tbsp salt 1 1/2 tbsp baking soda	Cream butter, peanut butter, and sugars together in a bowl; beat in eggs. In a separate bowl, sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; stir into butter mixture. Put dough in the refrigerator for 1 hour. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (191 degrees C) Roll dough into 1 inch balls and put on baking sheets. Flatten each ball with a fork, making a crisscross pattern. Bake in a preheated 375 degrees F oven for about 10 minutes or until cookies begins to brown. Ready in 1 hour and 25 minutes. Makes 24 cookies.
Coconut cookies	1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 tsp baking soda 1/4 tsp salt 1/2 cup butter 1/2 cup packed brown sugar 1/2 cup white sugar 1 egg 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 1 1/3 cups flaked coconut	Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt; set aside. In a separate bowl, cream the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until smooth. Beat in the egg and vanilla until light and fluffy. Gradually blend in the flour mixture, then mix in the coconut. Drop dough by teaspoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Cookies should be about 3 inches apart. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until lightly toasted. Cool on wire racks. Ready in 50 minutes. Makes 36 cookies.
Almond cookies	1/2 cup butter, softened 1/2 cup white sugar 1 egg 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup ground almonds 2 tsp amaretto liqueur	Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (204 degrees C). In large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar. Beat in the egg, amaretto, and almonds. Gradually mix in the flour until well blended. Drop by teaspoonfuls 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 5 to 8 minutes, or until cookies begin to brown. Ready in 30 minutes. Makes 24 cookies.
Hazelnut cookies	1/2 cup blanched hazelnuts 1/2 cup (or 1 stick) unsalted butter, softened 1/2 cup sugar 11/2 cups all purpose flower 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt	Preheat the oven to 375 degrees, place hazelnuts on a baking sheet and toast them from 10-15 minutes. When the hazelnuts are golden and fragrant, remove them from the oven and let them cool completely. Pulse the hazelnuts in a food processor and finely ground (just don't turn them into a paste) NOTE: WIP recipe!
Walnut cookies	An unbaked plain cookie A really big walnut	Cut a hole on the cookie big enough to fit the walnut. Put the walnut in the hole. Bake the cookie.
Cashew cookies	1/2 cup butter (softened) 1 cup brown sugar (packed) 1 Large Egg (room temperature) 3/4 teaspoons of Vanilla Extract 2 cups all purpose flour 3/4 teaspoon baking powder 3/4 teaspoon baking soda 1/4 salt (being salty about it is optional) 1/3 sour cream 1 3/4 cups chopped cashews 1/2 cup butter (cubed) 3 tablespoons of half and half cream 2 cups of confectioner's sugar (straight from the cookieverse) Add some more cashew halves (optional)	Preheat oven to 375°. In a bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar until light and fluffy, 5-7 minutes. Beat in egg and vanilla. Combine next 4 ingredients; add alternately with sour cream to creamed mixture. Stir in chopped cashews. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto greased baking sheets. Bake until lightly browned, 8-10 minutes. Cool on a wire rack. For frosting, lightly brown butter in a small saucepan. Remove from the heat and cool slightly. Add cream and vanilla. Beat in confectioners' sugar until smooth and thick. Frost cookies; top each with a cashew half.
White chocolate cookies	Unbaked plain cookie White chocolate chips	Make the plain cookies, but don't bake them. Then, add the chips.
Macadamia nut cookies	Cookie dough Macadamia nuts	Bake as normal but add macadamia nuts Cry because you might have a nut allergy
Double-chip cookies	Cookie dough Twice the chocolate chips you'd normally use	Bake as normal, putting twice the amount of chocolate chips in each cookie. Pray you don't develop an allergy to chocolate.
White chocolate macadamia nut cookies	Cookie dough White chocolate Macadamia nuts	Bake as normal but add white chocolate and macadamia nuts Think why you didn't just walk to the nearest Subway
All-chocolate cookies	A mold that takes the shape that you want the cookies An according amount of milk chocolate	Melt the chocolate and place it into the mold. Refrigerate until hardened. After it has hardened take it out of the mold.
Dark chocolate-coated cookies	A cookie Dark chocolate	Melt the dark chocolate somewhere. As long as it is melted, it doesn't matter where. Dump your cookie into your melted dark chocolate. Get fat because it tastes so good.
White chocolate-coated cookies	A cookie White chocolate	Melt the white chocolate somewhere. As long as it is melted, it doesn't matter where. Dump your cookie into your melted white chocolate. Get fat because it tastes so good.
Eclipse cookies	A cookie Black frosting Sprinkles Sugar	Cover HALF of the cookie in the black frosting. Top with sprinkles if you want. Caramelize some sugar. Dip the other half in the caramel.
Zebra cookies	A cookie Caramel Melted chocolate OR black frosting	Dip the cookie in caramel. Paint little spikes on the sides of the caramel with chosen black ingredient.
Madeleines	4 ounces of unsalted butter (melted until browned) 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract 1 1/2 teaspoons of finely grated orange or lemon zest (whatever's best for you) 1 cup of all purpose flour 1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder (not sure how much tbh) 1/4 teaspoon salt 3 large eggs, at room temperature 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1/2 cup confectioners sugar (sifted, optional)	Cut the butter in tablespoons and place them in a heavy saucepan over medium heat. Once the butter has melted, reduce the heat to low and continue cooking, until the solids sink to the bottom of the pan and turn golden brown, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and pour the browned butter into a small bowl. Stir the vanilla and lemon zest into the butter, then set aside to cool. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside until needed. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the eggs at medium speed while gradually adding the sugar. Once all of the sugar has been added, increase the speed to medium-high and continue whipping the mixture until it's very thick and pale in color, about 3 to 4 minutes. Turn the mixer off and, using a silicon spatula, fold in the flour mixture in three additions, stirring just until combined. Fold in the butter mixture. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, and up to 2 days. 30 minutes before you're ready to bake, preheat the oven to 375 degrees (F). Generously brush the molds of your madeleine pan with butter, then lightly dust with flour. Using a medium cookie scoop, spoon level scoops of the batter into the center of each mold. You don't need to spread the batter. Bake for 12 minutes, or until the "bellies" have risen and they're golden brown. Cool madeleines in the pan placed on a cooling rack for a minute or two, then gently loosen them from the molds. If they stick, carefully run a small knife around the edge of the cakes until they release. Dust with confectioners' sugar and serve warm, with coffee or tea and of course, never forget.
Pure black chocolate cookies	Cookie dough (raw cookie) Cocoa Dark baking chocolate Dark or bittersweet chocolate chips	Slowly mix or sift in cocoa into cookie dough until dark brown (don’t add too much or it will become very dry and/or bitter). Melt baking chocolate equal to around 1/5 of cocoa cookie dough and mix in with a wooden spoon. Add dark chocolate chips to achieve an even amount, usually 3/4 of a cup (6 oz), but you can add more to your liking. Bake for slightly longer than what your original cookie dough recipe says, otherwise the cookies may become too fluffy and fall apart, 1-2 more minutes should do the trick. Enjoy the pureness and immortality along with it.
Pure white chocolate cookies	Cookie dough (raw cookie) Vanilla powder White baking chocolate White chocolate chips	Slowly mix or sift in vanilla powder into cookie dough until light tan (don’t add too much or it will become very dry and/or bitter). Melt baking chocolate equal to around 1/5 of vanilla cookie dough and mix in with a wooden spoon. Add white chocolate chips to achieve an even amount, usually 3/4 of a cup (6 oz), but you can add more to your liking. Bake for slightly longer than what your original cookie dough recipe says, otherwise the cookies may become too fluffy and fall apart, 1-2 more minutes should do the trick. Enjoy the pureness and immortality along with it.
Shortbread biscuits	1 cup butter, softened 2/3 cup sugar (traditionally white sugar, but brown sugar is delicious) 2 - 2 1/2 cups flour A pinch of salt 1/2 tsp vanilla extract (Optional, but highly advised) 1/8 tsp almond extract, grated nutmeg, zested citrus, walnuts, or many other add-ins.	Whip together sugar and butter until smooth and slightly fluffy. 2 or 3 minutes should suffice. Slowly add flour by rubbing it into the whipped butter mixture. DO NOT OVERMIX. Chill for at least half an hour. After chilling, press out shortbread into a square baking dish. Bake at 325F (~162C) until the tops turn a pleasant blonde-brown and the cookies have set. 30 minutes usually does well but every oven varies. Let cool for a few minutes before cutting shortbread into rectangles, then serve! These can easily be made vegan by substituting the butter for shortening. In fact, some people actually prefer butter-flavored shortening to regular butter because of the added crumbliness. Also, if these cookies are STILL not crumbly enough for you, feel free to substitute a tbsp or two of flour with cornstarch to make a makeshift cake flour.
Millionaires' shortbreads	Cookie Base: Basic shortbread recipe (listed above) Caramel Layer: 14 oz sweetened condensed milk 1/2 cup brown sugar (use dark brown please!! not necessary, but highly advised.) 6 tbsp butter Chocolate Ganache Layer: 1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips 1/3 cup heavy cream	Prepare shortbread as listed above, stopping before cutting them. In a saucepan, melt butter and sugar. Add condensed milk. Continue to slowly boil over medium-low heat for at least six minutes or so, until the mixture thickens and begin to smell like caramel (trust me - you'll know). Pour mixture over cooling shortbread quickly and spread evenly with spatula. Let this layer solidify while making ganache layer. Melt the chocolate and heavy cream together either with a double-broiler or microwave. If using a double-broiler, simply continue to whisk the mixture over boiling water until it melts together. If using the microwave, zap the mixture in a safe bowl for small increments. Whisk every 20-30 seconds until it is just melted. You do NOT want to overcook chocolate, lest it become clumpy and chalky. Pour the final layer of chocolate over the solidified chocolate and let cool once more. If desired, feel free to add pieces of nuts onto the solidifying chocolate at this stage. Cut into squares once all layers are sufficely chilled and solidified. This sounds like a lot of work, but it actually isn't that bad. It just takes a while in between the various cooling stages. I don't think the citrus add-ins mentioned in the previous shortbread entry would be all that good in this, but you're welcome to try. I would especially advise nuts like almonds and walnuts to cut through the intense sweetness of this dish. It is decadent to say the least.
Caramel cookies	cookie dough caramel	Separate cookie dough into small handful balls and place onto your baking arrangement. Press into the center of each cookie dough ball making shallow bowls with enough room on the edges to hold the caramel in place. Bake for how long the recipe calls for Pour caramel into each cookie’s indent, but don’t overflow. Chill for 10-20 minutes Enjoy for a while
Big chip cookies	Cookie Dough Block of Chocolate (any kind is fine)	Mix squares of chocolate into cookie dough. Roll cookie dough into larger than normal balls. Bake for normal time according to your cookie dough recipe. Enjoy big chocolate.
One chip cookies	Cookie dough Chocolate chip(s)	Roll cookie dough into pieces that your recipe calls for and place them onto your baking arrangement. Take a single chocolate chip and place it into the top of each cookie. make sure there is only ONE chocolate chip that is in each cookie Bake for how long your recipe calls for and let them cool. Enjoy the disappointment of only one chocolate chip per cookie.
Sprinkles cookies	Unsalted butter Granulated sugar Egg Vanilla extract All-purpose flour Nonpareils sprinkles	Make the dough: Beat the butter and sugar until fully combined. Mix in the egg and vanilla extract, followed by the flour. Form the dough: Shape the dough into balls, about 2 tablespoons each. Dip in sprinkles: Roll the balls in sprinkles to coat the outside. Flatten the cookies: Gently press on the cookies with a flat object (like a cup) until they’re 1/4 inch thick. Bake: Bake in 350°F oven for 15-20 minutes, until the bottoms of the cookies are light to golden brown.
Crispy rice cookies	4 tbsp (1/2 stick) butter 6 cups mini marshmallows 6 cups crispy rice cereal, à la "Rice Krispies" A pinch of salt A dash of vanilla	In a large skillet, melt the butter. Add the marshmallows and continually mix until a goopy sugary forms. Turn the heat off and quickly mix the vanilla and salt. Homogenize as well as possible. Add the rice cereal and thoroughly combine. Make sure no large streaks of marshmallow or dry spots remain. Immediately pour this mixture into a buttered/oiled square baking dish. 8x8 works best for nice thick squares, however if you want to cut out circular frisbees to more closely resemble cookies, a flatter shape may be better. Allow to cool for at least 5 - 10 minutes, or as long as you can wait. Enjoy! Adding the vanilla AFTER the heat is off is perhaps one of the most important details. I've found that exposing vanilla extract to excessive heat substantially dulls the flavor, perhaps due to it being alcohol based. Also, I would highly recommend browning the butter before adding marshmallows. Simply continue to simmer the butter after it has meted on low heat until it begins to turn a golden hue and add the marshmallows as quickly as physically possible. Brown butter burns quickly. Then just continue the steps as normal. This adds a nutty caramelized note that makes the flavor profile more complex. If you're looking for a more sophisticated taste that isn't just sugar, brown the butter. However, if you're craving the cheap-3rd-grade-birthday-party sensation, follow the instructions exactly.
Pure heart biscuits	Premade cookie dough White chocolate Mint Drizzle Whipped cream	Cut out 2 heart shapes from the cookie dough. Pour the white chocolate on the heart. In a bowl, mix the Mint Drizzle and the whipped cream to make Mint Cream. Fill the heart shaped cookie.
Birthday cookie	Plain cookie White frosting Candle (optional)	Add frosting onto the plain cookie and put the candle on and light it.
Peanut Butter Blossoms	1¾ cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda ½ teaspoon salt 4 ounces (1 stick) butter, at room temperature ½ cup smooth peanut butter (or other creamy nut butter) ½ cup granulated sugar, plus more for rolling ½ cup light brown sugar 1 large egg 1 tablespoon milk, half-and-half, oat milk or nut milk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Nonstick spray or vegetable oil for cookie sheet (optional) 5 dozen (one 11-ounce package) Hershey’s Kisses, foil removed	Sift together flour, baking soda and salt; set aside. Using an electric mixer, cream together butter, peanut butter, ½ cup granulated sugar and light brown sugar. Add egg, milk and vanilla; beat until well blended. Gradually add flour mixture, mixing thoroughly. If the dough is very soft, refrigerate for about 1 hour. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray, oil or line a cookie sheet with nonstick liner and set aside. Roll dough into 1-inch balls. (For a precise number of cookies, divide the dough into 5 pieces, and shape each piece into 12 balls.) Roll cookies in sugar and place 2 inches apart on cookie sheet. Bake until very light brown and puffed, 6 to 8 minutes. Remove sheet from oven and lightly press a candy kiss into center of each cookie, allowing it to crack slightly. Return to oven until light golden brown, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from oven, cool completely and store in an airtight container.
Fat Rascals	175g plain flour 175g self-raising flour 175g cold butter, cut into cubes 1tsp baking powder 120g caster sugar 175g mixed dried fruit 1tsp cinnamon ½tsp nutmeg 1 orange, zested 1 lemon, zested 2 eggs, beaten 1-2 tbsp milk 18 blanched almonds 6 glacé cherries, halved	STEP 1: Heat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. STEP 2: Line a large baking sheet with baking parchment. Put the flours and butter in a food processor and blitz until you have a texture like fine breadcrumbs STEP 3: Tip into a large bowl and stir in the baking powder, sugar, mixed dried fruit, cinnamon, nutmeg, orange and lemon zest, and a pinch of salt. STEP 4: Mix to combine everything, then stir in all but 1½ tbsp beaten egg. Bring together into a ball of dough – if it’s too dry then mix in 1-2 tbsp milk. You should have a soft dough, similar to a scone dough. STEP 5: Divide the dough into 6 and press each piece into a fat disc that’s around 3-4cm thick. Put the rounds onto the baking tray and then glaze with the remaining egg. STEP 6: Put 2 pieces of cherry on top to resemble eyes and horizontally line up 3 blanched almonds a centimetre down from the cherries to resemble a mouth. Bake in the oven for 15-20 mins until cooked through.
Any Other Cookies	Lots and lots of time Lots of money (optional) Will to browse through hours of recipe stories (optional) Ability to use an internet browser	A Find a recipe online. Spend hours of your time speed-scrolling through the recipe-makers backstory. Finally find the recipe. Bake the cookie recipe. B Find a website that sells the cookie you want. Buy.